Hey, who the fuck needs nurseries? We're SATANISTS! (HAW HAW HAW!)

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: Are you really Satanists? Are you part of The Church of Satan?

No. We're officially a sect of Wicca and modern, eclectic Neo-Paganism. The Church of Satan (www.churchofsatan.com) is, officially, an Atheist organization. While we share many things in common with COS, they are another group entirely and are not beholden to us, nor linked to us, though we use many of the same images, ritual forms and magickal philosophy which the Church of Satan uses. And we regard Anton La Vey as a Satanic Saint and a person of high regard. Many of the rituals in The Satanic Rituals are usable by our group. (We DO prefer our version of the Black Mass to theirs, but that is simply a matter of personal preference.)

Q: How did you get started?

We started as local gatherings in Mid-southern Appalachia (around Knoxville and Dollywood) of a hybrid sect of Wicca, mixing a Native American/shamanic base with Hinduism and African-American Voodoo (with the Christianity scraped off.) In the process, many of our families and solitaries became more "rural." We've always hunted and husbanded animals for food (with the Witch's Pact for cats, dogs and horse-related dray animals [camels, llamas, etc.]) In the process, many of us adopted the practices and lifestyles of the various Christian and Jewish "Amish" peoples; we went to visit; those of us that worked hard learned stuff; no fights, no hassle, no fear of us and our Heathen Pagan faith. (If all Christians were like that, we'd have no problems.)

We had a problem for awhile with New Agers: The critters attached themselves to us like beggar's lice, so we performed a very "Dark and Evil" chicken sacrifice/dance (we also caught some fish and shot a deer---that was a GOOD Springfest!) The New Agers deserted us in droves. 

Bye. Y'all don't come back.

In the process, a manuscript ("The Book of Ben Amalek") fell into the hands of the Inner Circle of a Dark Wicca, sub-sub-sub-sect of these truly Pagan Wiccan group(s), which inspired most, if not all, of the Church of Kali's religious practices. Many of us had been into Anton La Vey-style Satanism; so we dug out our Satanic Bibles and Rituals. And WOW! With the raw, Pagan religion we had evolved, all taken together at once, La Vey's rituals did some AMAZING things; but we didn't like La Vey's Black Mass, so we took the Catholic Tridentine Mass and wrote our own.

Q: Are you REALLY devil-worshippers?

A: No, we're Devi worshippers. "Devi" is an ancient name for "G*D Herself," as is Frig, Tiamat, Leviathan and Evoe (the origin of the fabled named "Mother Eve"---Eve was, originally God and Adam was Her son.)

From the brilliant Light For Lucifer, Wikipedia, found at:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devi#Mahadevi 

Many texts, myths and rituals concerning goddess subsume them all under one great female being, named generally as Mahadevi or Devi. Earliest Hindu tradition as reflected in the Vedas speak of discrete goddesses like Lakshmi and Parvati. Later, there emerged a tendency to relate all goddesses to one ultimate goddess, the best example of such texts being the Devi Mahatamaya. Another important feature of Mahadevi mythology and theology is the insistence that assumes both benign and terrible aspects of Mahadevi."

Q: Why do you hate God? Do you hate Jesus? Is that really Wicca? Aren't you really just a form of Christian? You mock them all the time: Why are you such a hater?

Q: Firstly, we ARE Wiccan; the self-righteous mythology of New Ager crystal-crunching veggie-tards is completely beside the point. They ain't our friends and they ain't our Massa, so fuck 'em. Secondly, like it or not, the Old Horned God is a Hunting God and the God of Male Sexuality---two things much hated by the demon-god, Christ. To the Kalimite philosophy, Judaism, Islam, Christianity, most Hinduism and way too much of Buddhism are all "Father-God-ONLY" cults. Those are our worst sworn enemies because they are the most anti-life henotheist tyrannies, the REAL demon-worship and bad Witchcraft, to us anyway. But Judaism seldom afflicts or persecutes us Philistines anymore (except for the Palestinians): Hindus and Buddhists mostly afflict our kindred in Asia, especially India. Here, in the West, as well as all over the precious world, the mind-disease of Christianity is the worst and most predominant. The roots of Wicca and Satanism lie in the ancient, pre-Christian-invasion religion of the pagani or "country people," which lasted long after the kings and rulers had "officially" accepted Christianity. For many centuries, Pagan and Christian and Jew lived side by side in friendship; but as the strangling vines of Christianity had strangled culture and knowledge, it also strangled human rights and civilization which had lasted for centuries. Pressed by the torture chambers and the burning stakes (blessed by the Virgin Mary, no less), the Old Religion was forced underground and split into numerous sub-groups, some palpably Satanic, some not. (Some were even Gnostic Christians!)  

Q: Why are you using Hindu gods, rituals and mantras? You use drugs, you eat meat and there's a lot of European Paganism and Satanism, as far as I can see.

A: Don't forget: We use Voodoo, too. Our core scripture is the Devil's Bible; our primary Divinity images are easily accessible and well-represented by Hindu, and other classically Pagan, polytheistic images. Our sect firmly believes that denying or obliterating the living world is a blasphemy, a pit of bad karma, resulting in more attachment to the Wheel of Existence. Rather than eschewing or tossing aside the sensual world, the Grand Illusion of Maya, we believe that the principles of the Gunas, sattvas, rajas and tamas, must all be present and active in the Kalimite devotee's lives. Most Hindu sects consider the principle of tamas to be "laziness, sloth, attachment, given to worldly vices, etc."---in other words, the "Satan" of Hinduism. The Church of Kali believes you must have all three in perfect balance to achieve true moksha (liberation.) You must have your spiritual connections to your hunter-gatherer ancestors from Northwestern Africa; You need to recognize and respect the sacredness of pleasure, indulgence, slack and freedom; and, most importantly, YOU DO NOT OBLITERATE YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR GIVEN NAME in the Church of Kali. We simply add a sacred name (from any culture the Candidate likes) and have four names (like J. R. R. Tolkien.) But carnivorous activity, such as hunting, fishing, humane box trapping and animal husbandry, are mandatory to our sect, as is consumption of "soma" or psilocybe cubensis mushrooms and taking the Serpent's Kiss, the True Mark of the Beast. If you were a high-caste, ruling class Brahmin and converted to our sect, you'd instantly become Bhangi or outcaste---vegetarianism no longer necessary. And don't forget, 65% of all Hindus are not strictly vegetarian, those who use milk products are not REMOTELY vegetarian (their illusions to the contrary) and the Undercaste Bhangi's Hindu puja frequently includes hunting, animal sacrifice and feasting on animal flesh. So does ours.

Q: How does your organization feel about Anton Szandor LaVey's Church of Satan?

A: Howard Stanton Levey, a.k.a. Anton Szandor LaVey, was a circus roustabout, carnival barker and showman, the kind of showman who will literally kill themselves to let "the show go on." He wound up turning his own life into a colossal mess over his vocation---but you could say the same about Hank Williams, James Dean, Elvis Presley and Judy Garland. Anton was brilliant, intelligent and very talented, often boasting openly about what a liar and a put-on he was; a Kalimite's role-model of honesty, for certain! La Vey really did a lot of beneficial things, at least as far as society is concerned: Clearing away the cobwebs of Chr*stianity, making people think for themselves, self-reliance and self-discovery as virtues; and (perhaps most importantly) the fact that REAL Satanic Witches DO NOT sacrifice any animal that is not a food animal and consider ANY form of human sacrifice (excepting legal execution for capital crimes) as repellent and inhuman. (It's our primary objection to Chr*stianity and their cruc*fix!) Whatever else La Vey did or did not do, there certainly is a LOT of idiocy written, blogged and believed by true believers on BOTH sides of the question of Anton Szandor La Vey.

But, to the Kalimite faith, Satanic Saints Frank Zappa, The Amazing Randi or Penn and Teller fit our image of Satan Lucifer Baphomet more precisely than did Anton Szandor La Vey. No offense. We are not enemies with any form or group of Satanism excepting only "Shytanists" who practice stupidity, cruelty and various forms of racism as part of their Satanism---things which Anton always stood against; and so do we. 

HOY for Anton! SSt. La Vey, prey for us! Blessed Be! 

Q: What is the Church of Kali's ethical and moral creed?

First and primarily is The Seal of Leviathan, based on an interpretation of Eliphas Levi's Goat of Mendes design, used by many groups and individuals. Next are the essential Pagan Virtues, based on the signs of the Zodiac. Finally, there is The Wiccan Rede, arranged from ancient scraps of Romantic Age Wiccan Paganism by the immortal SSt. Doreen Valiente. 

Q: Do you really sacrifice people and pets? I heard Mike Warnke, Jack Chick and John Todd one time and they all said that you really DO sacrifice people and pets! What about that?

Mike Warnke is a total con artist, using a very lame comedy show telling about his "years" as a secret Satanist high priest in a human sacrificing Devil-worshiping cult which also dealt massive drugs and were coordinating with Anton La Vey and Charles Manson to take over the world for Satan. Then Mike got borned again and was nearly killed by his secret witch cult and their demons. Then he went in the Navy medical corps and went through pure hell in the 'Nam---never mind that he never got closer to Vietnam than Germany. Warnke and John Todd were, throughout the 1970's, the two leading stars of Protestant Fundamentalist "Witch-hunters." Warnke was backed by mainstream Contemporary Christian music companies, while Todd had the imprimatur of Jack Chick, including a number of tracts and full-sized color comics based solely on Todd's delusional tales of secret Druids sacrificing virgins and controlling demons to claim souls for their master, Satan. Todd was actually a brain-damaged Pentecostal preacher with a talent for telling enormous tales in his wild, incoherently-distracted sermonizings. Along the way, he encountered Jack Chick, the True False Prophet and Todd's fortune was made----or so he thought. Unfortunately, Todd's insane habits included teaching "special super-secret" Witchcraft classes during which he molested little girls (including his own step-daughter), all at the same time he was piously spieling his dreck to St. Chick and churches full of wide-eyed Fundies, frothing at the mouth with Satanic Ritual Abuse hysteria. Both Todd and Warnke have repeatedly been proven as frauds; but Chr*stians and other retards still believe, preach and practice their shit.

If you, too, believe that shit, get the fuck out of here or we'll hunt you down and make yo ugly ho mama scream. Yo! 

Q: Can you really sell your soul to the Devil?

A: No. Your soul belongs to Mama God, Kali Ma: She gave it and She takes it back. No matter what law students and stock brokers may think, you can't get rid of it. Sorry.

Q: Can I really learn to curse someone?

A: Sure, no problem, just as long as A.) They really are an evil Troll, like Hitler, Mao or Stalin; and B.) You won't mind a bit when all of their karma lands on you, if you guess wrong and the curse bounces back---and bounce-back is three times as bad as the curse you sent to them.

Let the Guru-Devil just tell you. In all my many years in the Craft, I've only had to lay one real curse, it was a "get what you deserve, reap what you sow" type hex, not a death curse; and it was about as much fun as unclogging a stopped-up toilet with your bare hands. But, if you're really into wasting this life you've been given, go for it.

Q: What do you think of Aleister Crowley?

A: Aleister was the leader and founder of Twentieth Century strictly-atheistic Satanism. Crowley has style, was genuinely a scholar of the Dark Arts and, most of all, had a sense of humor about himself---which most of his modern followers don't, for shit.

What does "Joy Through Strength" mean? Where does it come from?

A: It's the very antithesis of the Hitlerian Nazi phrase "Strength Through Joy." The Nazi followers and sympathizers made the "glorious revolution of the Master Aryan Race" their joy and that makes their strength fascist tyranny and genocide their joy. We deliberately flip this entire philosophy: First, you show your strength, through your intelligence, your skills and your decent, hard work: THEN you get your true Joy and no need for the mega-bad karma which Hitler's original Trolls used so "successfully."

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